Finding Perfect Read online

  “His socks don’t match,” Six says as we make her way up the driveway. “I like him already.”

  We meet Graham at the front door. He shakes my hand and introduces himself. “You must be Daniel,” he says. He looks at Six and hugs her. “And Six.” He pulls back and opens the front door. “How was your flight?”

  We follow him inside and I set the two suitcases by their front door. “It was good,” I say, looking around. This is so weird. Being here. I feel like I’m about to puke. I can’t imagine how Six feels right now.

  There are pictures lining the hallway that leads to the living room. Six and I walk slowly and look at them. Most of them we’ve seen, but some of them we haven’t.

  Quinn appears around the corner and she’s exactly how I assumed she would be. Welcoming and happy and full of just as many emotions as Six. She introduces herself and then we’re all just kind of awkwardly standing around.

  “Are you ready to meet Matteo?” Quinn asks.

  Six blows out a breath, shaking out her hands. “I don’t want to scare him. I have to collect myself.”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Graham says. “We’ve spent the first year of his life an emotional wreck. Sometimes we just burst into tears while we’re holding him because we’re so damn lucky.” Graham and Quinn smile at each other.

  Graham motions for us to follow them into the living room, where we finally see our son. He’s lying on the floor, surrounded by toys.

  Seeing him in pictures was one thing, but seeing him in person is an entirely different experience. Six squeezes my hand and we both gasp. I suddenly don’t feel good enough to be here. Worthy enough.

  And now all I can picture is Wayne and Garth, bowing down and chanting, “We’re not worthy. We’re not worthy.” I kind of want to drop to my knees in front of this beautiful little boy and do the same thing.

  Quinn picks up Matteo and walks him over to us.

  We both start to cry. Six touches his arm with her fingers and then his hair. Then she pulls her hand back and covers her mouth.

  “You want to hold him?” Quinn asks.

  Six nods, so she hands Matteo over to her. Six pulls him against her chest and presses her cheek against his head. She closes her eyes and just stands there, breathing him in.

  It’s fucking beautiful.

  I want to take pictures, but that would be weird. I just never want to forget this. This whole damn moment. Seeing Six with our baby. Our happy and healthy and perfect baby. Seeing Six smiling. Seeing that piece of her that’s been missing for so long finally reconnect all the broken parts of her.

  We sit down on the couch with him and stare at him and take turns holding him.

  “What’s he like?” I ask. “Is he shy? Outgoing? Does he cry a lot? My mom said I was a crier.”

  “He’s really friendly,” Graham says. “Like he’s never met a stranger.”

  Six laughs. “He gets that from Daniel.”

  Graham and Quinn are seated on the sofa opposite us. They don’t look nervous at all about us being here. Quinn is snuggled against Graham, her hand on his chest. They’re both smiling. It’s almost as if a part of them was needing this, too.

  “He’s not a crier,” Quinn says. “But he has a good set of lungs on him. Likes to hear himself jabber.”

  “He also gets that from me,” I say.

  We chat for a while, both of us continuing to take turns with Matteo. After we’ve been there for about an hour, Quinn is showing Six an album full of baby pictures.

  Graham stands up and stretches out his arms, then drops his hands to his hips. He nudges his head toward the kitchen.

  “Wanna help me with dinner, Daniel?”

  I stand up, but I feel like I should warn him. “I can try, but I tend to only make the cooking experience worse.”

  Graham laughs, but heads into the kitchen anyway, expecting me to follow him. He takes vegetables out of the refrigerator and sets them on the counter. He slides a knife toward me and then rolls a tomato across the island. “Think you can cut a tomato?”

  “First time for everything,” I say. I start to cut the tomato while Graham assembles the rest of the salad. I feel like I should thank him, but I’m so awkward when it comes to having sincere conversations. I clear my throat. When he looks at me, I look back down at the tomato I’m butchering. “I can’t thank you enough for doing this for Six.”

  Graham says nothing. When I glance up at him, he’s staring at me. He smiles a little and then says, “I didn’t do it for Six. I did it for you.”

  That makes me pause.

  “When I called you that day on the phone, I was honestly prepared to tell you to take a hike.”

  I release the knife and the tomato and then press my palms into the counter. “Really?”

  Graham nods as he meticulously chops up an onion. “I had no interest in bringing potential stress into Quinn’s life. I didn’t think it would be good in any capacity to have Matteo’s biological parents in the picture. I’ve seen the stories on the news, in the papers. The devastating custody battles. I didn’t want to open that door. But when I called you…I don’t know. I could hear the desperation in your voice. I could relate to the fact that all you wanted in that moment was to see the woman you loved happy.” He makes eye contact with me across the island. “You reminded me of myself, and what that felt like. The agony that comes along with not being able to take the pain away from the person you love more than yourself.”

  Dammit. Maybe it’s the onions. I don’t know. I have to look away from him because I feel my eyes dampen. I grab my shirt sleeve and dab at them. “Those are some strong onions, man,” I mutter.

  Graham laughs. “Yeah. I guess so.”

  When I’ve composed myself, I go back to helping Graham with the vegetables. Quinn walks into the kitchen and looks at the tomato on my cutting board. She laughs.

  “What have you done to that poor tomato?”

  “I tried to warn Graham that I’m bad luck in a kitchen.”

  Quinn motions for the knife. “I’ll take over. Go hang out in the living room with your family.”

  I smile at her and let her take over. But when I leave the kitchen, I have to pause to collect myself in the hallway.

  She just called us a family.

  “Fucking onions,” I mutter to myself.

  I walk back into the living room and sit down on the couch next to my girlfriend and our little boy. I spend the whole time watching them together as I try not to cry. But damn, my emotions are being tested more today than the rest of my life combined.

  Today has honestly been filled with the best moments I’ve ever spent with Six. Better than the maintenance closet, better than our first date, better than all the days we’ve ever spent together combined. We’ve wanted this for so long, and the entire last agonizing three weeks of waiting to be sitting here with our son has been torture.

  But this?

  This is perfection.

  A damn Christmas miracle.

  Chapter Nine

  We’ll be staying in their guestroom for the week. At first, we were hesitant about it because we didn’t want to impose. But they insisted, and we’re two broke kids in college, so free sounded better than any other option. Apparently Quinn’s sister, Ava, spoke so highly of Six, they felt like they knew her before they even invited us to meet Matteo. I’m sure it was hard for them, trusting us enough to not only bring us into their lives, but to also welcome us into their home.

  I’m glad we chose to stay here because we really like them. Graham seems like a stand-up guy. He laughs at my jokes. That’s important to me.

  Quinn and Six hit it off immediately.

  After they put Matteo to sleep, we stayed up for two hours, the four of us, just talking and sharing our stories. They’ve been through a lot, but knowing their outcome and how happy they seem makes me think Six and I could have what we have forever. True love exists and the people in this house are proof of that.

  “Matt
eo seems so happy,” Six says, falling onto the bed.

  “So do they,” I say. “Did you see the way Graham looks at Quinn? Eleven years of marriage and he still looks at her like I look at you.”

  Six rolls onto her side and smiles at me. She rests a gentle hand on my cheek and brushes her thumb over my mouth. “Thank you,” she whispers. “You have no idea how much you’ve changed my life.”

  “Yeah?”

  She nods. “Yeah. I know he’s okay now. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. And he’s going to know us. We’ll see him as often as we can. And I love them so much. So much. I was worried that meeting Matteo and the people who adopted him might make it worse. But when I see him with them, it’s like he’s theirs and I’m okay with that. He is theirs. He’s ours and theirs.” She leans forward. “I love you, Daniel Wesley,” she whispers, her mouth brushing mine. “I finally feel connected again.”

  Six and I have kissed a lot since we’ve been together, but it’s never felt like this. It feels peaceful and good. Like we’re both in the best place either of us has ever been.

  I love her so much. Sometimes I love her so much it makes me feel like I might puke. There’s so much love, it fills me up until I’m nauseated. In a good way. If nausea can ever be good.

  Six rolls on top of me, and I don’t know what’s about to happen or how far this kiss will go. Maybe really far. Like all the way. Or maybe not far at all.

  It doesn’t even matter because today is perfect. Today is the best day of my life and it’ll always remain the best day of my life. No matter what.

  Six pulls the covers over our heads. “I’m really proud of you,” she says. “You went the whole night without cussing. And you didn’t even give Matteo a nickname. I just knew you were going to slip up and call him Salty Balls or something.”

  That makes me laugh. “We’ll be here for a week. There’s plenty of time for me to slip up.”

  Six kisses my chin. Then my mouth. Then she kisses my…

  Well. What happens next is no one’s business but ours.

  THE END

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